Expressing emotions verbally and eye contact: foundational communication skills for young children

How Young Children Learn to Communicate: The Power of Expressing Feelings and Eye Contact

Let me ask you a simple question: have you ever watched a toddler try to tell you exactly what they want without saying a word? Maybe they point, frown, or tug at your sleeve. Then, a moment later, they chirp a few words and suddenly the whole scene makes sense. That moment—when emotion, intention, and a little language come together—is where strong communication starts. It isn’t about memorizing lists of words or scribbling letters yet; it’s about how kids express what matters to them and how they listen with their eyes and their hearts.

What makes the core skill special?

Think of early communication as a living skill set that grows with a child. A big piece of that foundation is expressing emotions verbally. When kids learn to name their feelings—happy, sad, hungry, frustrated, excited—they’re not just chatting for fun. They’re learning to identify their inner world, which helps them ask for what they need and manage moments that could otherwise turn into a mess. Verbal expression is the bridge between a child’s private experience and the shared space of a classroom, a home, or a playground.

But there’s more to the equation than words alone. Eye contact is a nonverbal signal with serious muscle. It’s the social glue that tells another person, “I’m listening; you have my attention.” Eye contact isn’t about staring down a person; it’s about the turn-taking dance of conversation. When a child looks at a caregiver or a peer while speaking or listening, they’re practicing a fundamental social skill—one that supports language growth and relationship building alike. In short: talking with someone and looking at them while you do it go hand in hand.

How this looks in everyday moments

Have you ever noticed how a caregiver might say, “Tell me how you feel about that,” and the child responds with a quick, “Happy!” paired with a bright grin? That’s a tiny win in emotional vocabulary. It might be followed by a request: “More juice, please.” The moment isn’t just a meal moment; it’s a mini-lesson in turning feelings into words and using those words to ask for what you want.

Here are a few practical patterns you’ll see and can encourage:

• Labeling feelings during daily routines. While washing hands, a child might say, “I’m thirsty,” and then, after drinking, “That felt good.” Help by naming emotions aloud: “You look excited about the bus ride today!” The goal isn’t to stage drama but to celebrate honest emotion and teach the name for it.

• Using eye contact to focus attention. When a teacher reads a story, a child who looks and then points to a picture is practicing joint attention. When a peer shares a drawing, a quick glance confirms, “I’m listening,” before a response comes.

• Connecting feelings to needs. A child who labels anger and then says, “I need space,” or “I need help to stop,” is using language to negotiate a solution—rather than letting frustration spill over.

Nonverbal cues aren’t second fiddle; they’re part of the language

Nonverbal signals—eye contact, facial expressions, body posture, even tone of voice—tell a story all by themselves. A quick tilt of the head, a soft sigh, or a shy glance can communicate more than a hundred words when combined with spoken language. That’s why teachers and caregivers model good nonverbal communication: they show children how to listen, how to signal they’re ready to speak, and how to interpret others’ cues with kindness.

For families and classrooms, it helps to practice simple, fun activities that make nonverbal cues easy to notice and imitate:

• Mirror games: Take turns copying each other’s facial expressions and then labeling them. “That smile shows you’re glad. What made you feel that way?”

• Eye-contact reminders: A gentle rule like “When someone is speaking, we look, listen, and learn” can normalize focused attention without turning it into a test.

• Emotion scavenger hunts: In a picture book or a photo card set, kids point to and name the emotion shown. Then they describe a time they felt that way.

How these skills build bigger language and social life

Expressing emotions verbally and using eye contact aren’t isolated talents. They ripple outward, creating more opportunities for conversation, cooperation, and imagination. When a child can name how they feel, they can better explain what they want, negotiate turns, and participate in group activities. The language becomes a toolkit for:

• Storytelling: A story needs a speaker who can express feelings and keep eye contact with listeners to hold everyone’s interest.

• Following directions: Understanding what someone else says is tied to listening and looking—eye contact confirms attention, and verbal feedback shows understanding.

• Turn-taking and cooperative play: In a game, children watch peers, wait for their moment, and respond with words and gestures instead of only actions.

In the classroom, those threads weave into a vibrant tapestry. A circle time becomes not merely a gathering but a safe space for children to try out new words for feelings, to read social cues, and to practice gentle negotiation. At home, it translates into calmer mornings, clearer requests, and a shared sense of connection.

A quick note on myths and potential challenges

Some common ideas float around young learners. A frequent one is that the path to communication is mostly about memorizing vocabulary words. But real momentum comes from how kids use words to express needs and emotions, and how they connect with others through eye contact. Words alone don’t guarantee understanding; the heart behind the words and the attention behind the eyes matter just as much.

Another myth is that written communication should come early. For toddlers and preschoolers, that’s not where the focus lies. Reading together and talking about pictures lay the groundwork for literacy later, while verbal expression and eye contact stay front and center.

Cultural differences also influence how eye contact is used and interpreted. In some families, less direct eye contact is common and perfectly respectful. In others, eye contact is part of the spoken conversation ritual. The key is warmth, clarity, and sensitivity to the child’s comfort and family norms. When adults adapt with empathy, kids learn to navigate social cues without feeling pressured or misread.

If you’re working with children who face language delays or social communication differences, there are supportive paths:

• Model and reinforce simple, flexible language. Short phrases that pair a feeling with a need can be extremely effective.

• Use visuals to accompany spoken language. Pictures, cue cards, or picture exchange can help bridge gaps between feeling and words.

• Seek collaboration with specialists when appropriate. Early support can make a meaningful difference, and teams that share observations tend to guide families toward practical, everyday strategies.

A practical toolkit for teachers and caregivers

You don’t need a fancy agenda to build these skills. A few simple tools can become daily anchors:

• Feeling cards: A small deck with faces showing different emotions. Use them to prompt kids to name feelings and connect to a situation.

• A "talking time" ritual: Short, predictable moments where each child has a moment to speak while others listen. Eye contact is gently encouraged, not forced.

• “Two-chirp” rule for listening: If two kids are talking, the listener should look at the speaker, then respond with a short phrase. This helps maintain focus without stifling spontaneity.

• Story prompts tied to emotion: While reading a book, pause to ask, “How do you think the character feels here? What would you say to them?” It’s a natural bridge to verbal expression and empathy.

• Home-school dialogue cards: A simple set of questions families can use in the evenings to talk about emotions and listening, reinforcing what’s learned in the day.

A gentle digression that connects to real life

Parents and educators often wonder how to keep this learning alive beyond the classroom or story time. Think about everyday routines—getting ready for school, meal times, bedtime routines. These moments are rich with chances to name feelings, practice polite requests, and notice what others are saying with their eyes. If a child is excited about a family trip, a quick chat about what they’re looking forward to can stretch their vocabulary and reinforce the habit of looking and listening. The kitchen counter or the driveway can become small stages for a quick, friendly, language-rich exchange. The trick is to make it feel natural, not forced—like a conversation you’d have with a good friend, only with a little extra love and attention.

Why this matters for long-term growth

From the first words up to late elementary language, the pattern stays consistent: talk about feelings, listen with attention, and connect through eyes and words. When children experience clear, supportive communication, they’re more likely to participate in group activities, share their ideas, and bounce back from misunderstandings. Social-emotional growth isn’t a side project; it’s the steering wheel of learning. A child who can say “I’m tired,” “Can we try again?” or “I need a moment” has a sturdy foundation for cooperation, problem-solving, and creative thinking.

Putting it all together

So, what are the effective communication skills young children learn? They begin with expressive language—learning to name and talk about their feelings—and they flow through the powerful practice of eye contact, the signal that says, “I’m here with you.” When these elements come together, children gain a versatile toolkit for navigating the social world. They’re not just learning to talk; they’re learning to connect.

If you’re guiding little learners, your role is to model warmth, offer small, achievable language targets, and celebrate the moments when a child looks, speaks, and shares. It’s in those moments—little wins that might seem ordinary—that the big growth happens. And yes, those wins add up. They build confident communicators who can express themselves, listen to others, and step into collaborative play with curiosity and care.

So the next time you hear a child string together a few words to name a feeling or meet someone’s gaze with a steady smile, take a breath, smile back, and name the moment. You’ve just witnessed a cornerstone of lifelong communication being laid down, brick by brick, cue by cue. And that’s it: the quiet power of expressing emotions verbally and using eye contact, working together to open up a world of conversation, connection, and learning.